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Writing Outtakes Episode 5 Work for Room and Board

Writing Outtakes Episode 5 Work for Room and Board

My girl is showing no signs of stopping now. So, here’s another episode from her.

Day 3 of the creativity residency.

Marmalade agains tries to tell his boy Matteo the trouble with Snow, but Matteo is still distracted by Ali.

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth (Eris): Different

Where to buy:

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

If you like this video, feel free to subscribe to my girl’s YouTube channel to get updates for upcoming episodes.

For more information check out:

Screaming for Caramel

photo by Clarabelle Fields

It’s that time of the year again, friends, when his Highness makes his interests widely known. In the haze of a post-Halloween morning, his Highness reminds us of what he has not-so-patiently been waiting to receive: the gifts of hallow’s harvest, pumpkin guts and leftover caramel dip.

The caramel makes sense at least. Cats love milk after all. His Highness yowls and screams and clamors for caramel — the melted kind, the solid kind, any kind. He gobbles it up faster than the speed of light, making funny faces when it gets stuck to the roof of his mouth, licking at his little vampire teeth (fashionably dressed for Halloween year-round).

The pumpkin, however, was a surprise. No one expected his Highness to enjoy the slippery and misshapen offerings of a cracked-open pumpkin. But it is fitting for royalty to have broad tastes, and evidently cold pumpkin is a delicacy for his Highness. His subjects are happily surprised by this, since pumpkin is much better for him than caramel. (Just remember to cook it…cooked, unseasoned pumpkin is safe for cats.)

He dreads to hear it, but the “d” word, diet, is around the corner again. (It is fitting for royalty to be pudgy, too, he would like to add, but for some reason the humans are not convinced of this as much as he is.) So for now his Highness will be doing a lot of screaming for caramel…and hopefully the humans will forget to take him for his next weigh-in at the vet!

“Diet? What diet?”

Cat Quotes 4:11

A cat sees us as the dogs. A cat sees himself as the human. —Unknown

Of course cats are superior to humans. They are sleek, agile and intelligent. They are much more coordinated than I could ever be. I’m still learning from them.

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a lot of ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. —Joseph Wood Crutch

Cats can and do sleep a lot. I find it comforting as they are calm and relaxed when they sleep and dream. Also, it gives me time to do my work without any of their demands on my time.


graphic from Ali Noel Vyain

Catnip is an herb. It calms humans and makes cats go crazy. It’s much like a drug reaction. Cats on Twitter sometimes make jokes about it. Catnip for a cat is very much like marijuana for a human. It’s no wonder many people make jokes about both herbs. Sometimes is very similar ways.

Nuri Feels Safe Outside if Ali is There Too

Like me, Nuri used to be outside. She lived on the street until she was caught and ended up in a shelter where Ali found her. So, Nuri knows about the dangers that lie in wait for any cat who is outside. I’m sure Nuri appreciates having a safe place to live inside as I do.

Yet, Nuri is so bonded to Ali that Nuri trusts her completely. If Ali is outside, Nuri feels safe to go outside too. Nuri knows Ali will protect her and keep her safe. Seems logical to me. I feel safe around Ali too.

But when Nuri goes outside, Ali panics and wants Nuri to go back inside where it’s safe. Nuri tends to oblige her. Ali knows it’s good when there is a screened in porch. Then Nuri can go outside whenever she wants. Ali doesn’t have to worry and Nuri can get fresh air and watch anyone who’s outside.


graphic by Ali Noel Vyain

It’s just an herb. It’s a plant. I hear it can calm humans down. The effect on us cats is completely different. It doesn’t seem to affect kittens. Perhaps it’s their different biology. Perhaps we have to be fully grown before it affects us in interesting ways.

On catnip, we cats can go crazy and run around hyper. We can wrestle other cats and never get hurt. Or we can roll over and feel absolutely wonderful until someone makes a sudden move too close to us. Then we bolt and hide.

My girl says catnip is similar to how marijuana affects humans. Good thing catnip is perfectly legal for us cats.

Writing Outtakes Episode 4 Strange Woman

Writing Outtakes Episode 4 Strange Woman

My girl is still working on the Writing Outtakes series. I don’t know how she manages to keep on going, but I suppose she hasn’t run out of ideas. And I know how inspiring we cats can be to someone like her.

Day 2 of the creativity residency. Marmalade has trouble with puppy Snow and tries to tell his boy Matteo who is distracted by Ali.

*Please note: The Viscount is played by a different doll even though his voice and clothes are the same.

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth: Tales From Mars Where to buy:

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

If you like this video, feel free to subscribe to my girl’s YouTube channel to get updates for upcoming episodes. For more information check out:

Letters from the Emperor: Trouble with Tribbles, Real Life 

Well, my dear subjects, it has been a while since you heard directly from me, your royal feline emperor. I have missed writing letters to you and sharing my wonderous life one-on-one.

Summer was relatively smooth sailing in my kingdom this year, aside from the usual hiccups with Dog. I found that Dog’s belongings are actually of much use to me, something I can benefit from at his expense: his beds, his pillows, sometimes even his toys. Although the beginning of my relationship with Dog was tenuous, he has turned out to be an excellently naive and unquestioning subject. As this summer closed, I took great pride in the knowledge that I, as emperor, had fully survived the coup attempted by Dog last year. My rule and my power seemed to be going ever upwards, with humans and Dog alike deferring to me.

But then another creature came, another invader of sorts. Something unlike anything I had ever encountered before–something that vaguely reminded me of a rat, but not enough to be certain. Small, black and white, with kicking, thumping feet and weird little teeth constantly gnashing. A pet rabbit, the humans said. Abandoned at the park and needing medicine and food.

Dog was ushered out of the room, but I in all my regal demure-ness, was allowed to remain to supervise and observe. Dog whined and moaned outside the closed door, and I smiled smugly to myself. The humans did a similar routine as they did with Dog so many months ago when he was small: blankets, towels, food and water, and many checks between the two of them. Then they began making many phone calls. I was relieved to know this stranger was not going to stay forever the way Dog did.

So far, Rabbit has kept to himself, content to stay in the room the humans cordoned off for him. He does not seem to be interested in taking power, gaining territory, or staging a coup. In fact, he does not seem to be interested in much at all except disgusting green food. When he had first arrived, I had hoped that perhaps his rations would be interesting, something to supplement my dog food tithes with. Sadly, the humans keep giving him the most unpalatable things, vegetables and the like. Dog’s food is better.

Dog is more tormented by this visitor than I am. Once I saw what little of a threat Rabbit was, I was completely at ease, and have since forgotten about his existence most of the time. Dog, on the other hand, has been desperate to get into the room. He says he just wants to say hi, but for some reason — perhaps the wildness in his eyes, or his drool — this seems rather implausible. Whatever his true intentions are, it’s no concern of mine. Rabbit doesn’t bother me and that is all that matters. The humans have assured me that Rabbit will get a family of his own soon. In the meantime, he will stay with us in his own private hotel — out of sight, out of mind for me, and well out of reach of Dog.

Until my next missive,

Emperor Julius

photo by Clarabelle Fields

Note from Julius’ human: Before finding this abandoned rabbit, I didn’t know how common it was for people to dump rabbits in parks. Unfortunately, this is extremely common, especially in the months after Easter. Many people buy rabbits on a whim around that time of year without realizing the commitment required to properly care for this kind of animal. There are so many abandoned rabbits in the US that they are often euthanized immediately if they are surrendered to a shelter because there is simply not enough space to house them all. Because of this, we are holding onto this little guy until we can find him a new home. Please take careful consideration before adopting a rabbit (and any pet, for that matter). The ones abandoned outside often die very unpleasant deaths.

Further resources:

Abandoned rabbits

Things you should know before getting a rabbit

Is a rabbit the right pet for you?

Rabbit rescues overloaded

Cat Quotes 4:10

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. —Faith Resnick

The universe has a way of dealing out its form of justice. It figures if you hate cats, you deserve to be reincarnated as their prey.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. —Anonymous

Cats are attracted to intelligent beings. That’s one reason they choose the humans they do. They want to be around other beings who can be just as intelligent as they are. Cats want to be understood and allowed to be themselves. They give us the same opportunity to be ourselves too.


graphic from Ali Noel Vyain

To a cat, love is the best thing in the world. Cats tend to love unconditionally and forever. I learned how to love unconditionally from Sir Socks. I knew he loved me dearly even when I was driving him crazy. We love each other unconditionally and will never stop. We just have a personally clash as he is a curmudgeon and I’m quite silly. Yet, we are able to get along much of the time.

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