Writing Outtakes Episode 21 Jealousy


Writing Outtakes Episode 21 Jealousy

Day 21 of the creativity residency. Flighty flirts with Matteo and Ali rescues him.

*Warning: Some suggestive dialogue.

Featured book: The Violet Series Book 2: The Search for Merlin

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/b6RR7M

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

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Writing Outtakes Episode 20 Best Friends


Writing Outtakes Episode 20 Best Friends

Day 18 of the creativity residency. Ali and Matteo are feeling more comfortable with each other and glad the tiny houses Chase and Flighty occupy have better sound proofing.

*Warning: Some suggestive dialogue.

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth (The Moon): The Crossroads

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/meddJ9

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

If you like this video, feel free to subscribe to my girl’s channel to get updates for upcoming episodes.

For more information check out: https://alinoelvyain.wordpress.com

Writing Outtakes Episode 19 Romance


Writing Outtakes Episode 19 Romance

Day 17 of the creativity residency. Flighty and Chase have made up and Ali and Matteo dance together.

*Warning: Some suggestive dialogue

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth (Mercury): This Strange, Wild Land

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/49vvgM

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

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For more information check out: https://alinoelvyain.wordpress.com

Writing Outtakes Episode 18 Too Far


Writing Outtakes Episode 18 Too Far

Day 16 of the creativity residency.

Flighty & Chase have a fight and Ali gets too sleepy after working on her writing.

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth (Saturn to Titan): Praying for Death

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/3G55Na

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

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For more information check out: https://alinoelvyain.wordpress.com

An Indian Christmas


Many of you will remember me and my best friend, Ki-Ki, a most beautiful Burmese cat, a real feline princess. We live with our family in Paris on the top floor of a comfortable apartment which has a gorgeous view of the famous Eiffel Tower. I am Pebbles, an ordinary tortoiseshell, except I happen to be the seventh kitten of a seventh kitten which has given me a wonderful gift— I can fly. It’s hard I know to imagine seeing a cat fly. Just read my story and you will find it’s no cat dream!

One morning we woke up in Paris to find the apartment in chaos. I had to jump over several suit cases just to get out of my basket. I found Ki-Ki sitting sadly by the front door.

‘What on earth’s happening, Ki-Ki?  It looks as if we are moving out.’

‘They’re all going away. I think it’s to Kolkata, but I couldn’t hear all the conversation.’

‘But they can’t leave us in Paris, on our own in this big apartment! Anyhow, where’s Kolkata? It sounds quite a ‘katty’ sort of place.’

‘I think it’s in India but my geography’s not too good, apart of course from places with royal associations like Persia, Burma and Siam. I prefer to keep to original, regal names.’

‘But how will we survive if the concierge is left to manage our food. She has no idea of your superior cat buds, Kiki. What about our fish on Fridays?’

‘Fish! More likely that cheap tinned rubbish from the supermarket!’

At this moment we noticed our travelling baskets had been taken out of the cupboard and put on the dining room table.

‘Look, Ki-Ki! I think we’re going too.’

‘We are going somewhere it seems. Probably to a cattery out in the 18th arrondissement, kilometres away from civilization.’

‘What’s a cattery?’ Before she could answer, Noah, the youngest boy, came and picked us up, one under each arm.

‘The catkins are looking nervous. They hated flying to London and India’s a much longer flight.’

We both meowed rather sadly at the prospect of a long journey. I had a terrible cat ache on the short flight to London and Ki-Ki had been kept awake by some stupid dog howling for the entire hour. At least we would be with the family. They had their faults but nothing compared to a cattery.

At last, the baggage had been packed in two taxis and we were finally off to Charles de Gaulle Airport. We could only see the top storeys of buildings and office blocks through the gaps in our wicker baskets.

‘Try to have a catnap while you can,’ I meowed to Ki-KI.

‘Good idea. You never know what mad dogs will be on the flight.’ Ki-Ki always imagined the worst cat scenario.

‘The catkins are very vocal,’ laughed Noah. ‘They think they’re off to London again. Little do they know.’

‘That’s the problem with people. They always think we know ‘little’ and that they know everything.’ Ki-Ki yawned before taking a nap.

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I won’t bore you with the details of an awfully long and boring flight. I can’t really remember much, thank goodness. As usual there was an annoying dog, one of those yappy little terriers, a ‘Yorkie’ or a ‘Maltese’, I think. Most of the time we both went to sleep. We don’t like flying on aeroplanes. We prefer ‘Feline Flight’, as you’ll see later!

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Arriving at the Oberoi International Hotel late in the evening, everyone, family and cats, was exhausted. The entrance was splendid with white pillars and doormen in silk turbans. ‘An entrance fit for a Queen,’ as Ki-Ki meowed happily. The rooms were large and spacious with beds for the boys and very exotic cat baskets for us. Although it was the week before Christmas, it was warm.

‘We don’t need our winter coats here,’ complained Ki-Ki. ‘People are still swimming in the outdoor pool!’

‘The father said something about ‘air-conditioning’ which would make it more comfortable to sleep at night.’ I had seen one of the bearers fiddling with buttons and switches and showing the parents how to change the temperature in the bedrooms.

‘Yes, of course my ancestors used to have a servant to stand pulling a fan to keep the royal cats cool. In India, he was called a ‘punkah wallah,’ I believe.’ Ki-Ki yawned gracefully.

Suddenly, there was a polite knock on the door. I looked at KI-Ki and meowed softly. She responded with a loud MEOW. The door slowly opened and a very smart man with a splendid, orange turban came in, carrying a silver salver. He had white bowls of fishy smelling food and glass bowls of water. Spreading a small mat on the floor, he carefully set out the four bowls. Speaking in Hindi, I think, which is the National Language, he spoke kindly and pointed at the food.

By this time, I was very hungry but Ki-Ki waited a moment, ’One must never be over enthusiastic in front of servants,’ she meowed softly.

I waited for her to start eating. I noticed she didn’t hesitate to lick the bowl clean rather speedily.

As the door closed behind the waiter, to our surprise an animal crept from under the bed. As soon as it started meowing, we realised it was a very unusual kind of feline.

‘I’m a Bengal cat and my name is Bengal Rajah of Tollygunge, known by my close friends as Rajah or Prince. I was intrigued by Rajah’s exotic coat of striped legs, like a tiger and a magnificent spotted body like a leopard. I was not at all surprised when he purred, ‘I was first bred in California, a cross between an Asian Leopard breed of cat and an American shorthair.’

‘But how did you magically appear? Is it a feline version of the Indian rope trick? Kiki-Kiki was a trifle resentful of his princely name.

‘No, nothing magical. I crept on claw tips past the bearer when he brought your dinner. I’ll have to wait for someone to come and open the door Would you two be interested in a tour of the city?’

‘Yes, but there is the small problem of getting out!’ Ki-Ki sounded slightly exasperated.

‘Don’t worry, your family will be out most of the day. They haven’t come from Paris to sit in the bedrooms. I know when the cleaners will come and we can easily slip out. I’m not called Rajah for nothing,’ he purred proudly.

                                                         °                     °                        °

Next morning Rajah was proved correct in his surmises. The family set off after breakfast, armed with a guide book, street atlas and bottles of water. A few minutes later a cleaner arrived and started making the beds. The boys had spilt orange juice on one of the pillows and she went off to fetch a clean pillowcase.

Rajah immediately slipped through the door, ‘Come on my friends, a great day to explore.’

Ki-Ki and I followed him down the soft, luxurious staircase.

Out in the forecourt of the hotel, one or two vans were coming and going.

‘We’re off to visit the splendid ‘Marble Palace’. It’s in the North of the city, so we need to steal a lift. Rather too far for ladies to walk!’

The back doors of one the vans were wide open. Inside I could see empty wooden crates.

‘Pop in and get behind those crates,’ meowed Rajah softly as he jumped up.

The van moved out into the traffic of Chowringhee, with much hooting and yelling on the part of the driver. 

‘He’s going to pick up some vegetables from a market close to the Marble Palace,’ Rajah meowed softly. ‘Be ready to jump out, ladies.’

It was dark inside the van. I guessed there were potholes as the ride was bumpy and uncomfortable with the crates leaning dangerously, like the tower of Pisa, but that’s a story for another day.

Suddenly, the van came to an abrupt halt. ‘Wait for the signal to jump out, ‘came a muffled meow from behind some crates. ‘Now, jump, ladies!’

We both landed on the pavement beside Rajah just before the driver returned with crates oranges and bananas.

On the opposite side of the road were high gates. We could see the tops of some very impressive marble columns beyond. ‘That must be part of the Palace,’ I meowed softly to Ki-Ki.

Rajah led the way across the road to a hole at the bottom of the fencing. Obviously a well –trodden feline entrance to the grounds. Both Ki-Ki and I were stunned into silence at the magnificent façade of the palace. Rajah explained building began in 1835 by the prestigious Mullick family, wealthy Calcutta merchants. It is an example of Neoclassical design which apparently means the revival of Greek and Roman styles in the 18th and 19th centuries or so Ki-Ki meowed to me. Being classically bred and educated, she’s usually right.

We slipped through the entrance into an inner courtyard. A couple of macaws with wonderful blue and yellow plumage greeted us raucously from their perch at the side of the court. We walked into a magnificent room which Rajah told us was the old ballroom. Candle chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Around the edge were fine bronze and marble figures. I could imagine women in elegant long dresses, escorted by men in black jackets, breeches and exquisitely embroidered waistcoats, just like the pictures in Noah’s history books.

Rajah began to pirouette across the marble floor. As Ki-ki and I joined in, I imagined music wafted across the courtyard on the wind. The whole palace has an air of such faded elegance and charm. We wandered through many rooms, including a picture gallery. Rajah had once followed a guide giving a talk to a group of tourists and picked up a lot of information. He pointed out there were one hundred and twenty-six different marbles in the palace and pictures by some very famous artists, including Rubens and the English portrait painter, Joshua Reynolds. All the people in the pictures looked very serious and were wearing odd clothes. ‘They must be very hot in the summer here,’ I meowed to Ki-Ki who seemed lost in her own dream world.

‘I feel I belong here. It has a regal elegance which exactly suits me.’

‘I think we should leave now, before the traffic is too bad.’

We reluctantly agreed.

As we crawled back under the fence, Rajah whispered, ‘It must be our lucky day. See that cream coloured car parked there?’

We glanced a few metres down the road.

‘That’s a hotel car. It must have brought tourists here earlier. Just hide by the fence and see when they come back.’

He was right. After ten minutes or so, a family, parents and two children, appeared, with various brown paper parcels. The driver opened the boot and going to meet them, took the packages.

‘Come on now, jump in the boot, hide behind the spare tyre and the tool bag!’

It was a squash with three cats, the spare tyre, a large tool bag and a pile of parcels. However, it was a short journey and in no time, we guessed we were pulling into the hotel entrance. The driver started clearing the parcels and taking them into Reception. We took our chance to creep through a side entrance and walk cautiously upstairs.

The door to the boys’ room was ajar. They were in the parents’ room chatting. We sidled in and collapsed into our baskets.

Pretending to be asleep, we heard Noah exclaiming, ‘I told you they were hiding somewhere.’

We dropped asleep, dreaming of ballrooms and marble palaces.

                                          °                          °                            °

The next morning was slightly foggy but still quite warm. Once the family had gone out exploring the city, the cleaner arrived with her hoover and box of dusters and polishes.

We could see Rajah round the corner of the door, meowing impatiently. ‘Hurry up, Mesdemoiselles. I’ve been ready for hours. Today we are going to visit one of the biggest markets in the city. It is a short walk from the hotel and will be crowded just before Christmas!’

It may have been a short walk but it wasn’t an easy one for three cats! The pavements were crowded with so many people: men in bright turbans, women in saris of all colours, orange, green, purple, turquoise, as Ki-Ki exclaimed, ‘a living rainbow.’ Small children, babies, women in black burkas, teenagers in the universal jeans and t-shirts, all of Kolkata seemed to be out that morning. As Rajah pointed out, it was easiest walking close to the shop windows, under the ledges, just the right height for cats.

At last, we reached the front of New Market. We sat for a moment at the entrance in a cool corner. Crowds were going in and out, often followed by market boys with large baskets to carry customers’ shopping.

The market is a labyrinth of criss-crossing alley ways selling a huge range of goods. Ki-Ki of course, loved the jewellery section. The shops looked like the pictures of treasure chests in Noah’s pirate books. Gold necklaces, tiaras, precious stones of all sorts— rubies, emeralds, and glittering displays of diamonds. The fruit market was as colourful: piles of bright orange tangerines, bunches of yellow bananas, of shining black grapes and plump, round melons.

The fish market was full of strange, exotic fish which we had never seen before. Rajah, like most Bengalis, was an expert on fish. We watched Koi swimming sullenly in large, round tanks, Pomfret ready for frying and the bright silver Hilsa.

‘Hilsa is the favourite on big festivals, cooked in mustard, ’explained Rajah.

Suddenly, one of the stallholders appeared, armed with a large broom, and shooed us away.

I shot up one of the narrow alleys, quickly followed by Ki-Ki meowing indignantly, ’Obviously a ruffian, unaware of my status.’

At this point I was more worried about getting lost in this warren of alleys than about her social status. When I stopped to look round, we were in a different section of the market surrounded by beautiful silks and saris displayed in different stalls. I was just thinking best plan was to get back to the entrance and wait for Rajah to re-appear, when I turned to see two young girls bending down to stroke Ki-Ki. She was purring loudly and rubbing against their bare legs. Before I could intervene, a tall, elegant lady appeared. Her light green and silver-edged sari shone in the light from the stall. She spoke to the market boy. I couldn’t follow the conversation but he walked towards the entrance with the basket balanced on his head.

She spoke to the girls in English. ‘I’m worried about these cats, specially the beautiful Burmese.’ (At this point I must admit my hair stood up for a moment.) They will be picked up and stolen any minute if they wander round here. Look at their lovely coats. They must have escaped from a house near the market.’

The girls answered in Hindi or Bengali. If only Rajah had been there to translate! Before we knew it, the girls had picked us up. They felt warm and friendly.

‘Don’t struggle,’ I meowed softly to Ki-Ki. ’You might scratch or hurt them.’ They carried us along the alleys out into the sun, making straight for a black car parked at the entrance.

The driver opened the door. Before we could say ‘pussies in the well’, the car was moving off into Chowringhee.

Sitting comfortably in the backseat on the girls’ laps we fell asleep. We were driving out of the city centre. It seemed a long way to me but perhaps the traffic jams made it seem further. I woke as the car was passing along the edge of a lake. This area was much more open and far less crowded than the New Market area. I meowed softly to wake up Ki-KI as the car drove into a neat, gravel drive.

The block of apartments looked newly built and freshly painted. The girls carried us gently into a large hallway with elevators going up to the top floors.

‘I feel quite at home here. It’s like our Paris flat,’ I meowed.

‘Oh, not quite the same luxury,’ yawned Ki-Ki, covering her mouth with her paw.

The elevator went on upwards, one, two… I lost count till it thudded to a halt on the top floor. The two girls carried us into a large room. I felt at home with colourful woven rugs on the floor and shelves of books all around. The mother called us into the kitchen. She had put water in a bowl and fish into two saucers. We only usually eat fish on Fridays but we were both hungry. Besides as Ki-Ki commented, ‘It would be bad manners to refuse.’

I had noticed when we went into the main room, it had a balcony looking over the lake.

I meowed softly to Ki-Ki, ‘We can take off from the balcony. I think I can navigate back to the hotel. You have a a wonderful cat’s eye view when you are flying.’

Remember, I mentioned I have inherited magic powers as the seventh tortoiseshell kitten, born to a seventh born tortoiseshell mother. I have hidden wings which I summon, only in an emergency of course.

                                                        °                        °                      °

It was late afternoon. The girls and their mother had gone for a walk by the lake. I nudged Ki-Ki awoke. She was still yawning.

‘We need to jump up onto the edge of the balcony and fly back, before even Noah thinks we have come to a sticky end or something fishy has happened to us.

‘Something ‘fishy’ did happen a couple of hours ago and I rather enjoyed it.’

‘Well, you might not enjoy it so much in the summer with temperatures in the forties!’

‘Ok, I thought you had a good sense of catty humour.’

‘Oh! I can be catty in many ways— come on now, time is passing and we must fly!’

We stood on the edge of the balcony looking at the sun beginning to set over the water.

‘I feel guilty leaving the girls. They were so kind,’ meowed Ki-Ki.

‘Well, they have a lovely home and mother. I am sure they will soon forget all about us.’

I wished hard and immediately my wings began to sprout. I looked at Kiki-Kiki poised elegantly on the narrow balcony edge. Her delicate jewelled wings like gossamer began to appear. I made another wish too, that this kind family, especially the young girls, would not be unhappy when they found us gone.

We took off over the lake and wheeled round, back towards the city.

There was a light breeze behind us which made flying easier. Looking down we could see the centre of Kolkata ahead. The tram track beneath us was a good guide. We had left the lakes behind. Far below tiny rickshaws battled their way through evening chaos. Beneath us was a Church which looked like a toy. Rajah told me later it was St Paul’s Cathedral. A little further on was an elegant white building with a statue of a Queen or statesman seated on a marble pedestal, apparently, I learnt later, the Victoria Memorial. Kiki-Kiki yowled it reminded her of the statue outside Buckingham Palace, in London. Now beneath us was a wonderful open stretch of grass, the Maidan, on which tiny figures in white were playing that odd English game, cricket. On our right was a very crowded street, with bright lights and Christmas decorations. Ki-Ki signalled that she wanted to fly closer. We found out from Noah’s conversation later, that this was Park Street, the main centre of restaurants and shopping.

We flew over the heads of the crowds, seeing people queuing outside a bakery and tea shop to buy Christmas cakes. It had a puzzling name, Flury’s, which sounded French to us. Rajah said it had originally been owned by a Swiss family! By then we were at the top of Chowringhee, only a minute or so to the hotel. We passed New Market on our right. It seemed so long since we had lost Rajah.

At last, we flew right into the hotel forecourt. Of course, it was Christmas Eve and we were looking forward to opening our presents. Ki-Ki meowed she hoped she wouldn’t get yet another rubber mouse. Our family mean well but do they really think we want a rubber mouse? Would they want a rubber computer or a plastic football? Sometimes people can be very silly. It’s probably why they need us.

Writing Outtakes Episode 17 Work Progress


Writing Outtakes Episode 17 Work Progress

Day 15 of the creativity residency.

Ali and Matteo discuss their progress while Flighty and Chase make more annoying noise.

Featured book: The Colonies of Earth (Pluto): First Time

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/38eeXB

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

If you like this video, feel free to subscribe to my girl’s YouTube channel to get updates for upcoming episodes.

For more information check out: https://alinoelvyain.wordpress.com

Writing Outtakes Episode 16 Fashion Doll


Writing Outtakes Episode 16 Fashion Doll

Day 14 of the creativity residency.

The second day of maid service and Flighty asks Ali where Matteo is.

Featured book: By Accident of Birth

Where to buy: https://books2read.com/u/4AjjBq

Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

If you like this video, feel free to subscribe to my girl’s YouTube channel to get updates for upcoming episodes.

For more information check out: https://alinoelvyain.wordpress.com

Cats Napped!


If you have read my first adventure in Paris, you will know all about me. This part is just for any new readers to catch up. My name is Pebbles and I’m a fashionable, sophisticated Parisian cat. I am a rather special feline with a beautiful tortoiseshell coat. My apartment, which I share with my ‘family’, is very close to the Eiffel Tower. It’s so close that when you’re on the top terrace, you feel you could almost touch it. I have a special secret which I am going to meow softly, just to you. I am the seventh tortoiseshell kitten of a seventh born tortoiseshell mother which gives me nine wishes as well as nine lives! Unfortunately, my last adventure cost me two wishes. It was worth it because it saved the life of Ki-Ki. She is a beautiful royal Burmese cat with a deliciously milk chocolate coat with dark chocolate paws and mask! She is my best friend and a true aristocrat. 

This summer the family moved to England for six months — something to do with a mysterious place called ‘the office’. It plays an important part in the father’s life. Ki-Ki thinks it must be a luxurious spa or a very upmarket restaurant because he even goes there at weekends sometimes! 

I had never flown by aeroplane before. What a fuss it all was! Ki-Ki and I were inspected by a vet and given several injections. I really hate seeing that needle coming towards me. We were put into cages and stowed away in something called ‘the hold’. We could hear a dog somewhere near us barking and howling. So typical of dogs, they have no self-control. I don’t know about Ki-Ki, but I had an awful feline headache by the time we landed. They had given us a snack for the flight – a very cheap sort of cat food which we would never touch in any of our nine lives.

At last, we were taken through some mysterious ritual called customs.  It may be an English ‘custom’ but not one any well-bred Parisian would practise. We were really relieved to see the family again, especially the youngest boy, Noah.

‘How are the ‘catkins’?’ he joked. 

We purred politely and tried to smile. For some reason people like to hear us purring. To tell you the truth, it’s a bit of an effort at times. At least we could sleep in the taxi. We had heard our destination in Paris over a deafening loud speaker — flight 534 to London. 

From our basket in the back of the car we had our first glimpses of London. We had heard the boys chatting about something called ‘Big Ben’ which sounded as if it might be a large structure like the Eiffel Tower. Why was it called Ben? This seemed rather odd. Of course, we had heard of Buckingham Palace. It had interested Ki-Ki with her royal connections. Sadly, the Royal Family seem to prefer Corgis, rather yappy, annoying little dogs.

Noah suddenly exclaimed ‘The Thames, we’re going over Tower Bridge!’

I caught a glimpse of miniature castles and turrets at either end of the bridge. Ki-Ki yawned elegantly, but a little sleepily. ‘When you’ve seen one bridge, you’ve seen them all.’

We were turning into a tree lined Avenue which reminded me of Paris with its boulevards.

The car suddenly stopped and we were both flung across the basket. That didn’t improve my cat ache, or my temper.

Once inside the house, even Ki-Ki had to admit it was elegant and very well furnished. Two large, luxurious cat beds were in the kitchen in front of something called an ‘Aga’ which seemed a combination of a heater and a stove.  

‘Ah! The catkins like their beds.  Of course, Ki-Ki’s bagged the bigger one,’ Noah shouted up the stairs.

‘Thank goodness there’s a cat flap,’ meowed Ki-Ki, in relief.

‘What’s that? I’ve never heard of such a thing.’

‘Well, we don’t go outside the apartment in Paris. Here there must be a garden at the back. So, we can pop in and out through the cat flap when we need to — you know what I mean?’ she meowed softly.

‘When we need the loo; that’s what you mean.’’

‘Please, keep your meows down. Don’t yowl about such subjects.’

Really, Ki-Ki can be rather old-fashioned!

The family were outside looking round the garden. There was a long stretch of grass with beautiful trees on either side. The father and mother were chatting.

‘London Plane trees, you can’t beat them for shade and elegance.’

‘You’re right and there’s not much gardening here — just cutting the grass. A good thing, you know, with you stuck in the office.’ 

‘There’s an office here too. He’ll still be going there.’

‘Lucky, he’d really miss it wouldn’t he?’ purred Ki-Ki.

‘Well, the garden’s well fenced and too high for the cats to jump over. They should be fine but watch the boys don’t let them out the front,’ with this warning, he turned back into the house.

We were still exploring the top of the garden when a rather loud meow startled us. A large black tom cat had poked his nose through the wire netting.

‘Hello, ladies, you must have just arrived!’

‘Yes, we ‘ave flown in from Paris today.’ Ki-Ki’s French accent seemed a little exaggerated.

‘Well, I’m going to have the pleasure of showing you two ladies the sights of London.’

‘The only problem is, we are prisoners. We can’t jump this fence.’ I meowed pathetically.

‘You don’t ‘ave to, Mesdemoiselles. Allow me.’

He ambled along the fence until he was about half way down. Scrabbling with his front paws and pushing with his nose, he managed to squeeze under the netting. The next minute, he was in the garden. ‘My name’s ‘King Alfred’, Alf to my friends.’

‘I’m known to my close friends as ‘Ki-Ki’ and this is ‘Pebbles.’

I heard Noah calling us from the kitchen.

‘Look you be ‘ere at 9 tonight and I’ll take you on a little tour. Okie doki?’

We only had time to nod uncertainly before he disappeared under the fence.

‘What’s he mean by ‘okie doki?’

‘We’ll find out at nine o’clock,’ purred Ki-Ki.

The family had decided to go to bed early. The journey from Paris had been tiring. They had a busy day ahead of them. This suited our cat plans purr fect  ly

We lay in the kitchen listening for the chimes of Big Ben, seven, eight and at last nine o’clock.

Ki-Ki slipped quietly through the cat flap. I followed warily. It was still a little strange to me.

It was a bright moonlit night. The trees were touched with silver. We edged slowly up the garden, keeping close to the fence. We could see Alf sitting waiting, his black coat shining in the moonlight.

‘Good evening, ladies. All ready for our feline adventure?’

‘Yes, looking forward to it,’ I meowed softly. Somehow it sounded rather loud in the silent garden. Even Ki-Ki was excited but too much of a lady to show it!

Always the gentleman, Alf lifted the netting with one paw. One by one, we crawled under the fence. Any moment I feared hearing Noah’s voice and being caught, even before our London adventure had begun. The next moment, we were wriggling between some iron railings into the street.

‘Here we are, easy as pie,’ purred Alf proudly. ‘First, I’m going to show you where I work.’

‘Work! That’s too tedious. Remember I’m from the Burmese royal line.’ Ki-Ki began to clean her delicious chocolate fur.

‘Ah, but my job is the most pres  ti  gious of any cat job in London.’ Alf purred in a deep, bass tone.

‘Well, it better be worth being dragged out of a very cosy bed.’ Ki-Ki tossed her head and flicked the rich brown tip of her tail.

Alf led the way down the brightly lit street. Ki-Ki and I slowly followed.

It seemed a long walk, through backstreets, as we followed in Alf’s paw steps. I thought Ki-Ki was going to sit down and refuse to budge. Then suddenly we came out on a busy street, still noisy and crowded, even at night. Alf stopped in front of a large building with blazing red lights. My reading had improved but I must admit my English was still limited. Ki-Ki read it out, ‘The Mousetrap’ and an odd name — ‘Agatha Christie’. The red lights made even our cats’ eyes blink. We followed Alf down a narrow passage at the side of the building.

‘If I don’t sit down for a minute, I’m going to collapse. My paws are killing me, walking on these horrid, hard streets.’

‘Ok, Mademoiselle Ki-Ki, sit down for a minute,’ meowed Alf.  ‘This is St Martin’s Theatre in the famous West End of London. I’m the theatre cat.’ Alf bowed proudly. ‘Now you’ll have to go on tip-claws here. No meowing. Perfect silence!’

Alf pushed against the Stage Door. It opened enough for the three of us to squeeze in. We crept stealthily up some narrow stairs. Alf stopped outside a door with ‘Royal Box’ engraved on a brass plate over the top.

‘Oh, this is obviously meant for me, the ‘Royal Box’. Kiki purred with pleasure and seemed to have quickly recovered.

Alf stood on the tips on his back paws and managed to reach the door handle. Although it was dark in the theatre, we were able to see the splendid chairs which I was later told were covered in gold and red material. We each jumped quietly on a chair and looked towards the front which Alf said was called ‘the stage’. When we looked round, we could see the theatre was full of people watching the play. It was so quiet you could have heard a mouse scurrying. Suddenly the lights on the stage went off, the whole theatre was dark. ‘This is the scariest scene,’ Alf meowed very quietly in a true stage whisper.

A voice was whistling, ‘Three blind mice’. I recognised it from one of Noah’s old books. Suddenly the lights came on. One of the actors was lying on the floor. Seemed an odd place to go to sleep. Alf explained later that she was dead – only in the play of course!

Then a young boy in the audience looked up and stared straight at us. We crouched down, too late. He was whispering ‘cats’ to his mother.

‘Time for our exit,’ hissed Alf. We pushed open the door, ran down the red-carpeted stairs, out of the stage door and into the side alley before you could say ‘King Alfred,’ let alone ‘Jack Robinson.’

Alf led us to a wall at the end of the alley. We climbed over it and found ourselves in an empty car park. ‘Hang on here. Back in a minute’ Alf disappeared into the night.

I could see Ki-Ki was nervous. ‘Don’t worry, he’ll be back. Don’t forget, I can always fly us home!’ I reminded her of the Paris adventure and my magic powers. Before I could meow more, Alf appeared out of the dark.

‘Come on, follow me. I’ve got a tasty surprise for you ladies.’

He led us to what looked like a ticket office on the other side of the yard. Alf suddenly meowed loudly and scratched at the black door.

 ‘Ok, ok, I’m coming!’.

The door slowly opened. An old man, wrapped up in a shabby coat and long grey scarf, stood on the door step. ‘Look ‘ere Tiddles, you turned yer nose up at the food just now. What are you playing at? Oh, I see you went and got yer lady friends!’ The old man laughed. ‘Hang on there. I’ll see what I can do.’

A few moments later, he re-appeared with three saucers and something which smelt distinctly fishy. He bent down stiffly and put the food in front of us. ‘Just got that from the waiter at the all- night café. He was about to bin it.’

I was afraid Ki-Ki would refuse to eat. She can be a bit of a ‘foodie’. Before I could say anything, her saucer was clean.

‘That was purr fectly delicious,’ she purred contentedly.

The old man leant down to stroke her. I could see Ki-Ki freeze, then shiver slightly. She was purring between her teeth, but he was happy.

As we walked away, the old guy stood looking after us. People can be rather sad sometimes. Alf meowed that he dropped in there most nights to keep the old boy company.

Alf now boasted that he was going to show us one of the most famous houses in London or in the whole world for that matter. He even yowled that it was more famous than the Elysee Palace in Paris. Of course, Ki -Ki and I objected. In fact, we yowled him down. But we could still hear him, meowing under his breath.

It was an exhausting cat walk along the hard London pavements. I thought Ki-Ki was going to sit down again and refuse to move. At last, we turned right into somewhere called Downing Street. Ki-Ki was meowing rebelliously, ‘Famous house! Never heard of it.’

We looked across the road and I could just make-out the number, ’10, Downing Street.’ A rather large man with an odd helmet on his head was standing outside. ‘Oh, he’s a policeman,’ I meowed proudly – I’d see some pictures in Noah’s guide book to London.

The door suddenly opened and a woman appeared. Before it closed, to our surprise, a cat sidled out. It wandered slowly across the road towards us.

Alf was perfectly at ease. He obviously knew the grey tabby approaching. Ki-Ki looked her usual superior self. This was a common enough domestic cat, even if this rather unimpressive town house was famous. I reserved my opinion, after all this was Alf’s territory.

‘This is Larry, the Downing Street cat. He has an official title, ‘Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office.’ This is the fifth British Prime Minister he has served! His duties include: greeting guests, inspecting security defences and testing the antique furniture for its napping qualities.’

‘I’m rather proud of my defence of the Prime Minister’s house. You can see the evidence in a video that went viral on the internet. I stalked a fox which had been hiding in the Downing Street Garden. Chased it, till it ran off towards Whitehall!’ Larry meowed loudly.

Ki-Ki yawned elegantly, placing a beautiful chocolate-coloured paw over her mouth.

‘Mind you, I’ve had one or two scraps with Palmerston, the Foreign Office cat. He once had the cheek to rip my collar off. Real gun boat diplomacy.’

The policeman strolled across the road. Alf quickly slid away into the shadows. Larry rubbed against the constable’s legs. Too late, I noticed Ki-Ki had actually fallen asleep. The policeman gently lifted her from the pavement and walked back to the famous door of number ten. Alf was meowing softly at me, telling me to run for it. I couldn’t abandon poor Ki-Ki, even to a policeman. I followed the constable back across the road. He knocked on the door of Number Ten. It was opened and after a whispered conversation, Ki-Ki was handed in. 

By the skin of my whiskers, I managed to slip in after her, before the door closed. Inside was a surprisingly large reception hall and a staircase lined with pictures of old, boring looking men. As a queen, I was disappointed to see only three pictures of women.

In a few minutes a black suited man appeared with two wicker baskets. I remembered being put in one of these contraptions as a kitten when I first moved into my Paris home. By this time, Ki-Ki had woken up. The moment she saw the baskets, she began to struggle. She meowed pitifully to me. ‘Help me, Pebbles. I can’t bear to be put in one of those dreadful cat boxes.’

I knew she remembered her terrifying experience when she had been stolen from the Paris apartment. Too late, the man had already bundled her into one of the boxes. Before I knew it, he had dumped me, unceremoniously into the second one.

Despite our resentful cries, we found ourselves in the boot of a car or van being driven through the streets of London.

I wondered what our family would say when they found we had disappeared in a strange city.

The van was pulling up. I could read a notice by the entrance to a large building, ‘BatterseaCats’ and Dogs’ Home’. ‘Oh no!’, I meowed to Ki-Ki. ‘You remember in Paris how Roddy warned us about cats’ homes.?’

Before she could reply, our baskets had been carried into a sort of reception room. One by one we were gently lifted out. There were sudden flashes which made me blink.

‘Don’t worry, they’re only taking our photos. I wish I had been warned.’ Ki-Ki tossed her head.’ I would have tidied my hair.’

‘Now let’s see if these two have been micro chipped,’ one of the attendants remarked.

‘The Burmese almost certainly will be registered but I’m not sure about the tortoise shell.’

I didn’t know what ‘chipping’ meant but I rather resented the man’s dismissive tone. Why 

shouldn’t a tortoise shell be treated the same as a Burmese? After all we were both staunch republicans at heart. The two men were busy looking at a computer screen. I quietly meowed to Ki-KI that this was a chance to escape from this ‘chipping’ query, whatever it meant. We sat close to the door. 

‘I don’t know about you, mate, but I could do with a cuppa.’ With this, one of the men walked towards the exit.

‘This is our chance,’ I meowed softly in Ki-Ki’s ear. As quick as lightning we shot through the the half open door before either of the men had realised.

‘How will we get home?’ Ki-Ki meowed despondently. ‘We’re lost in London!’

‘Look we just need a wall, something high so we can take off safely.’ At precisely that moment I saw a high wall enclosing a cobbled yard. ‘That’ll do, we can use it as a platform.’

I knew Ki-Ki was exhausted and I was tired too. With our last ounce of energy, we scrambled up the brick wall. The tips of our claws just saved us from falling back. 

I wished with all my remaining strength for the magic wings which had saved us in Paris. I could feel them quickly forming. Ki-Ki’s beautiful, regal wings had also sprung into place, transparent and gleaming.

‘Un, deux, trois, take off!’ I yowled. We rose higher and higher. There was the river Thames far beneath. Boats looked like toys floating in a bath in the early morning light. We were drifting past a huge clock.

 ‘That’s Big Ben,’ called Ki-Ki. ‘Hope it doesn’t strike. It would deafen us,’ she yowled.

Far below, I recognised Downing Street. Larry was a small dot of grey fur sitting by the famous door. Then below us was a large open space. I thought I recognised Horse Guards, from a guide book the boys had been studying. Next, we were looking down on a straight road lined with trees and decorated with the British Flag, same colour as the French Tricolour. Though we cats can’t see the colours.

Then there in front of us was Buckingham Palace with the sun rising. A different flag was flying above the palace. Ki-Ki said it was the Royal Standard which showed the King was there. Trust her to know that! I hovered for a while over the palace but no glimpse of the King.

I knew roughly where our street was by using Big Ben as a reference point. Flying back towards the big clock, I recognised the tree lined avenue which had reminded me of Paris.

I signalled to Ki-Ki to prepare to land. We landed softly on the lawn in the back garden, exactly where we had met Alf the previous evening which now seemed so long ago. Our wings disappeared as mysteriously as they had arrived!

The house was silent. The family were still asleep. We crept into our baskets and were soon snoozing.

We awoke to Noah observing, ‘Look at those lazy cats. They’ve been sleeping all night!’

Writing Outtakes Episode 15 Cats Are Inspiring


Writing Outtakes Episode 15 Cats Are Inspiring

Day 13 of the creativity residency.

Matteo avoid Chase and Flighty to be greeted by the cats. Ali lets the cats know who inspiring they can be.

Featured book: The Guardian Series Book 2: The Sorceress and the Prince

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Copyright © 2022 by Ali Noel Vyain.

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