Profile: Emperor Julius

So who is the dashingly handsome Emperor Julius? Want to find out a little more about him before he begins updating the magazine with monthly news from his realm? Read on!

Official name: Julius Augustulus, Emperor of the World

Age: 3.5 years

Breed: domestic shorthair (although he would prefer “domestic tiger”)

Birthplace: on a farm somewhere in mid-Missouri

Favorite foods: Purina brand anything, caramel, and banana cream pie yogurt

Favorite toys: string and sparkly fuzzy balls

Favorite game: chasing string around the kitchen

Favorite past times: stealing things out of trash cans, drinking out of the toilet, and snuggling with humans (not necessarily in that order, but sometimes)

Dislikes: not being fed on time, not being allowed in the trashcans

Best trait: extremely loving

Worst trait: no appreciation for “quiet hours” when the humans want to sleep

Murder tally: two mugs, three vases, one glass thermometer, countless pieces of paper, and maybe one cricket

Life goals: to eventually infiltrate the pantry where his food is kept

December 6, 2018 1

Soon…

We’re less than a month away from our official launch! We have so many articles, stories, poems, and pictures to share with all of you fellow cat lovers. Julius will be contributing monthly reports from his empire, and there will be plenty of other content for everyone to enjoy. Stay tuned!

December 4, 2018 0

Cats & Language

I bet this isn’t a well known fact. Or at least it’s not thought of much. Those of us cats who live with or even near humans are bilingual. We have our own language that we use with each other. When that fails, we just get into fights. But when we need to talk to humans, we have to learn another language—the one the humans use.

So, those of us living near or even with humans know two languages. If we hear another human language, we don’t always understand it right away. We need time just as humans do to learn the new language.

I know my girl can understand we cats have our own language that we speak. She is a good one to stand back and let us talk to each other without interruption. She can’t understand what we are saying per se. I know because she didn’t always understand me whenever I talk to her. So, to compensate, I tended to repeat the same one syllable word until she understand.

I know she’s not stupid. She just has a hard time learning a language from just listening to it. My girl reads a lot. I’ll let her tell you about the sorts of things she has read in her life. Besides, she did learn to understand me. I just had to make it a little easier on her.

Oh, I did learn to say her name correctly, but usually I just call her “Al,” because it’s easier for me. We cats just don’t have the same vocal organs as you humans do. She knows when I’m calling her for something and that’s all that matters.

December 3, 2018 0

20171110_084205

November 29, 2018 0

Memoirs Update

I never realized how hard it would be to write my own memoirs. I’m glad my girl is helping. She has experience as a writer and knows how to put this book into ebook form once it’s ready. I am very lucky to have met her.

Otherwise, I think I would be complaining how nothing is working out and have no idea of how to get this project done. As it is, she has been helping me with the structure. We have eliminated several pictures from the lot we started with. She has stressed to me that we can’t use them all because it would make the ebook too large to upload.

Very well, I don’t see why we need to use all the photos she’s taken of me over the years. But I’m still worried I won’t get my memoirs finished soon. I will do my best to be ready to start sharing episodes of my life’s adventures in January 2019. I do hope I have enough time to have at least one ready by then…

My girl tells me it’s alright. We have lots of material to work with now. It just needs to be edited. She even says we have time to do just that and finish working with the pictures.

November 28, 2018 0

Blizzard

20170810_223248 What do you do when there are 8 inches of snow outside? Sit by the heating vent and let the humans shovel the driveway!

November 27, 2018 0

What Is This?

Hey, my girl, where did this picture come from?

November 26, 2018 0

My Boys’ Exercise Program

poem from Honoring the Cats in My Life

Yeah, I know my boys
sleep about 16 hours a day,
but they’re in great shape.
It’s simply because of their
exercise program.
I didn’t come up with it–
they created all themselves.

The Program:
daily yoga exercises
(after each and every nap)
cardiovascular workouts
(run around the house like mad for an hour)
climbing and jumping
(and knocking things down)
wrestling
(great way to relief tensions between themselves)

I tell you this program works.
They’re both in great health
and not overweight.
It’s safe to leave their food out
all the time.
I can’t say it’s dull to watch, either.

November 25, 2018 0

Mama’s Boy

poem from Honoring the Cats in My Life

Little Spot
came into our lives
as a little fur ball—
he could fit in one of
my hands.
He took to Sir Socks
immediately.
Looking up with
total adoration.
I had to give him
a bottle of milk
three times a day.
He’s no longer
a kitten,
no longer
an adolescent,
but an adult,
who’s still
as rambunctious
as a playful child.
Sometimes
waking me up
in the middle
of the night
knocking things
onto the floor.
Even when he
bolts outside
to play,
as other cats do,
he still loves
Sir Socks
and his mama.

November 24, 2018 0

He’s Growing on Me…

Without me, this kitten wouldn’t understand the first thing about being a cat.

November 23, 2018 0