Close to Nature


When I returned from a week in Baltimore visiting my daughter, my cat sitter said, with a look of disgust, “Your cat eats flies.”

I felt a surge of pride and reached down to scratch Pepper behind the ears. She figure-eighted around my ankles.

“There’s no accounting for taste,” I said.

I love living close to nature, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have boundaries. Every animal defends its territory, and I’m no exception. The space within these walls is mine. 

The walls I’m talking about are the ones erected inside this barn I call home. The loft was converted to living space 50 years ago by hippies who were good with hammer and saw but not too concerned with sealing every nook and cranny. The exterior barn walls are porous – good for drying hay, but not for keeping out critters. The interior walls are insulated and relatively tight. But between the two are countless gaps and cavities accessible to nature. And below, the dry laid stone foundation and sliding doors of what used to be horse stalls admit all manner of rodent. Those same stone walls are also home to a large colony of garter snakes, who can be found warming themselves on the field stone patio by the front door on any given sunny summer day. That took some getting used to, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and no doubt they eat a lot of mice.

The mice they don’t eat sometimes find their way into the space I defend. It used to be worse. During the first year, I battled them with traps and poison with no apparent effect. I discovered why when I finally moved the old upright piano out of the kitchen. It was ridiculously heavy, so I disassembled it in an attempt to lighten it up. This proved futile – the weight was concentrated in the massive cast iron sound board – but in the process I discovered that the inside of the instrument was a virtual mouse hotel. It’s where they lived and where they (at least those I didn’t exterminate) died, judging by the number of desiccated carcasses under the keyboard.

Eliminating this refuge reduced the mouse population – or perhaps merely concentrated them between studs and joists. I’d been in denial about the stains on the kitchen ceiling, but one afternoon, in a fit of madness, I tore it down. Hours later, standing knee deep in mouse shit and piss-stained sheetrock, I eyed the kitchen walls, crowbar in hand. Fortunately, reason asserted itself and I realized I was approaching a point of diminishing returns.

That’s when I got Pepper.

I haven’t seen a mouse or evidence of mice since. Maybe they’re all gone. Maybe natural selection has favored those that carry a boundary awareness gene, and they are content to stay on their side of the wallboard. So who can blame Pepper, her favorite prey exhausted, having to find what pleasure she can in flies and spiders and such.

When the cat sitter left. I emptied a can of Friskies salmon pate into a bowl.

“Good girl,” I said, setting it down.

Cat Quotes 4:10


People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. —Faith Resnick

The universe has a way of dealing out its form of justice. It figures if you hate cats, you deserve to be reincarnated as their prey.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. —Anonymous

Cats are attracted to intelligent beings. That’s one reason they choose the humans they do. They want to be around other beings who can be just as intelligent as they are. Cats want to be understood and allowed to be themselves. They give us the same opportunity to be ourselves too.

Cats & Hunting


drawing by Ali Noel Vyain

As a cat, I know about hunting. I used to do it. That was when I was young and could take care of myself without any trouble. As I got older, I tended to lose some teeth and my claws became brittle. Once my girl clipped my back claws and they weren’t clean breaks. I told her never to do it again.

She didn’t after that. She did try to say it was the ultimate in cat pampering. But after I told her not to do it anymore, I think she understood there was something wrong with my claws.

Well, I liked to hunt. It was my way to assert my independence of humans. I never had any trouble catching mice and eating them. Humans tended to find it disgusting that I would eat mice. I don’t know what their problem is. Those humans eat animals too. My girl doesn’t eat animals and she understood whenever I ate a mouse.

Or even a bird. She didn’t like the gifts I left her, but she is a vegetarian. At least she understands that I need to eat animals. I don’t think she needs to. In fact, she seems to think it will make her sick if she were to eat them.

So, I’ve had lots of mice in my time. And a few birds. There was one bird who got angry with me for eating a couple of birds. If my girl wasn’t around, I don’t know what I would have done. She rescued me from getting pecked.

*Sigh.* I no longer hunt because I cannot. I sometimes miss it, but I’m so well taken care of now that I am okay without it. I feel blessed that a vegetarian understands and knows what I need to stay healthy and that’s what she gives me. So, I’ve learned to live without it and just pretend on occasion that I’m hunting and stalking prey when in reality I’m off to my food bowl my girl has filled up. She finds the scenes I make quite amusing.

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