Letters from the Emperor: Trouble with Tribbles, Real Life 


Well, my dear subjects, it has been a while since you heard directly from me, your royal feline emperor. I have missed writing letters to you and sharing my wonderous life one-on-one.

Summer was relatively smooth sailing in my kingdom this year, aside from the usual hiccups with Dog. I found that Dog’s belongings are actually of much use to me, something I can benefit from at his expense: his beds, his pillows, sometimes even his toys. Although the beginning of my relationship with Dog was tenuous, he has turned out to be an excellently naive and unquestioning subject. As this summer closed, I took great pride in the knowledge that I, as emperor, had fully survived the coup attempted by Dog last year. My rule and my power seemed to be going ever upwards, with humans and Dog alike deferring to me.

But then another creature came, another invader of sorts. Something unlike anything I had ever encountered before–something that vaguely reminded me of a rat, but not enough to be certain. Small, black and white, with kicking, thumping feet and weird little teeth constantly gnashing. A pet rabbit, the humans said. Abandoned at the park and needing medicine and food.

Dog was ushered out of the room, but I in all my regal demure-ness, was allowed to remain to supervise and observe. Dog whined and moaned outside the closed door, and I smiled smugly to myself. The humans did a similar routine as they did with Dog so many months ago when he was small: blankets, towels, food and water, and many checks between the two of them. Then they began making many phone calls. I was relieved to know this stranger was not going to stay forever the way Dog did.

So far, Rabbit has kept to himself, content to stay in the room the humans cordoned off for him. He does not seem to be interested in taking power, gaining territory, or staging a coup. In fact, he does not seem to be interested in much at all except disgusting green food. When he had first arrived, I had hoped that perhaps his rations would be interesting, something to supplement my dog food tithes with. Sadly, the humans keep giving him the most unpalatable things, vegetables and the like. Dog’s food is better.

Dog is more tormented by this visitor than I am. Once I saw what little of a threat Rabbit was, I was completely at ease, and have since forgotten about his existence most of the time. Dog, on the other hand, has been desperate to get into the room. He says he just wants to say hi, but for some reason — perhaps the wildness in his eyes, or his drool — this seems rather implausible. Whatever his true intentions are, it’s no concern of mine. Rabbit doesn’t bother me and that is all that matters. The humans have assured me that Rabbit will get a family of his own soon. In the meantime, he will stay with us in his own private hotel — out of sight, out of mind for me, and well out of reach of Dog.

Until my next missive,

Emperor Julius

photo by Clarabelle Fields

Note from Julius’ human: Before finding this abandoned rabbit, I didn’t know how common it was for people to dump rabbits in parks. Unfortunately, this is extremely common, especially in the months after Easter. Many people buy rabbits on a whim around that time of year without realizing the commitment required to properly care for this kind of animal. There are so many abandoned rabbits in the US that they are often euthanized immediately if they are surrendered to a shelter because there is simply not enough space to house them all. Because of this, we are holding onto this little guy until we can find him a new home. Please take careful consideration before adopting a rabbit (and any pet, for that matter). The ones abandoned outside often die very unpleasant deaths.

Further resources:

Abandoned rabbits

Things you should know before getting a rabbit

Is a rabbit the right pet for you?

Rabbit rescues overloaded

Countertop Inspector


photo by Clarabelle Fields

Nothing gets past his Highness. Well, almost nothing. (There was one time where he slept through his human making a tuna salad…a shameful day that we will not speak of again…)

Among his many imperial duties is that of chief inspector, that is, he must thoroughly inspect everything that passes across his royal countertops. Food, glass, ceramic, plastic — whatever comes into or out of the kitchen must pass the emperor’s inspection. Bottles must be sniffed, foreign objects tapped, and water sampled. A taste test here or there never hurt anyone either. Sometimes Dog tries to take on this role, but chief inspection has always been, and always will be, the rightful role of the emperor.

Being countertop inspector is a demanding job. Countless hours spent walking up and down the lengths of the kitchen, checking the sink and the stove, performing quality checks on leftovers and fallen crumbs, doing inventory counts inside cabinets and open drawers, sitting for hours on top of the fridge watching traffic as it passes by underneath.

Sometimes things are not up to par — when something doesn’t pass inspection, the problem must be solved quickly and effectively. One swoop of the regal paw and the problem is ended on the tile three feet below. The humans still express their skepticism, but one day they will learn that the emperor’s judgment is always final and just.

Traitorous mugs and cups must meet their rightful condemnation on the floor. Useless plastic bottles must be cleared away. And unpalatable fruits and vegetables must yield to his emperor’s carnivorous preferences, flung with skillful claws into the kitchen sink. Always at the ready, the emperor is proud of his countertops, never letting so much as an ant miss his discerning eye.

One day, the humans will realize how fortunate they are to have a tireless countertop inspector like Julius, keeping them safe from dangerous ceramics and keeping the counters clean.

Top 5 YouTube Cats: April Fool’s Funny Edition


photo by Biel Morro on Unsplash

Welcome back again, dear readers, to another installment of my and Julius’ YouTube favorites. Today we are taking advantage of the propitious date of this post to bring you some extra special funny YouTube offerings. There is no more appropriate day for unexpectedly funny cat videos than April Fool’s — for cats, with all their regal drama, every day can be April Fool’s day, a perfect opportunity for hysterics, antics, troublemaking, and, most importantly, good, funny surprises.

Internet April Fool’s jokes can range in tone from terrifyingly lean to annoyingly harmless, but you don’t have to fear any mean jokes here– it’ll just be good, straightforward feline hilarities ahead!

#5. Reverse Card

We all love our cats here at Sir Socks Le Chat, but the near-ubiquitous feline habit of cutting into their human’s early morning beauty sleep can be undeniably annoying more often than not. April Fool’s is the perfect day to consider planning a prank that will turn the tables — perhaps Kitty never appreciated what being woken up at 4am is like?

#4. There can only be two of us

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction — I don’t know how I would react if someone brought home a doppelganger of me, but this cat handles it remarkable well. Hopefully it isn’t having existential nightmares later.

#3. Behind you

You never know where surprises are going to come from! You have to keep your eyes wide open at all times — and look out behind you too!

#2. Off-season surprises

It might not be Christmastime anymore, but pranks (intentional or unintentional) can happen at any time of the year. If I were this cat, I would have been startled too — pretty terrifying home decor! Skip to 0:45 to see the big event if you’re short on time.

#1. The infamous Lucifur

To round out our April Fool’s list, there’s nothing better than the best-timed sneak attack…who better to know this than feuding feline brothers? This video is worth watching all the way through. The coup de grâce is everything!

Until next time, let us know what you’re doing for April Fool’s in the comments below. Have fun!

Top 5 YouTube Cats: Spring Edition


photo by Niklas Ohlrogge on Unsplash

Happy March, dear readers!

It is starting to feel like springtime at casa Julius, with a warm buzz in the air and blue skies and little delicious flower buds sprouting from the soil. (Sadly, Julius’ primary human has yet to give in and grow a catnip plant in the garden — maybe next year. The petition continues.) Despite the lack of royal catnip, His Highness always manages to enjoy the spring. Long hours sunning himself in open windows, breathing in fresh air, watching birds…spring is a special time for kitty-cats!

While Julius watches birds and smells the flowers this season, what are other springtime cats doing? Here’s our list of 5 YouTube cats to watch when we want to feel the spring spirit and enjoy the warming air like Julius is!

#5.

Cats seem have impeccable taste when it comes to finding the perfect flower to delicately sniff…and perhaps do a little more to. In this video, we see two feline flower connoisseurs carefully smelling and sampling the latest that spring has to offer. Nothing is cuter than watching those little noses inspecting the latest offering.

(Be safe, obviously, and don’t leave your pets unattended with plants. Many flowers are toxic to cats.)

#4.

Cat video lovers will probably be familiar with this channel (walter santi), which is bursting full of videos showing the little cat haven the creator has made for so many adorable and wonderful kitties. Here, we get to see the walter santi crew enjoying themselves in their best feline fashion in the warm sun — playful, happy, and carefree.

#3.

What list would be complete without an appearance from our favorite, Butters the Bean? Some cat connoisseurs specialize in flower-tasting, others prefer to sample spring in other ways, such as modeling. Here we see the handsome Butters showing off some high spring fashion. Who doesn’t look good in a flower crown?

#2.

Some cats really want to share the love of spring — and love in general — with others. Some secret admirers might be off-putting or worrisome, but I can’t think of a better one than a sweet-hearted, generous cat.

#1.

As beautiful as spring might be, sometimes we might not be entirely in the springtime spirit yet. This final video is a lighthearted note to end on for those of us who might not be entirely pumped about the arrival of spring. Sometimes we just need six more weeks of hibernation and staying warm and cozy inside!

Regardless of whether you are welcoming spring or still settled in winter, Emperor Julius sends his good wishes and hopes all of you stay warm and well. Talk to you next time!

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are completely my own. Neither I nor anyone at Sir Socks Le Chat has any association, affiliation, or other such relationship with any of the YouTubers/YouTube channels listed in this article.

Epistles from…the dog?!


No description available.

Hi there! I’m Lenny! They told me to make a post this month and I don’t know what to write about but I’m going to do my best! I’m supposed to write all about my big brother Julius and how much I love him! Did I mention my name is Lenny?

I’m the only dog in the house, but that doesn’t bother me! I have my humans and my big brother with me so I am the happiest dog in the whole wide world! Julius calls himself the emperor but I just think of him as my very best friend! I love to run around and play with him all day. I chase him and he hides under the couch and then he swats at me and we have so much fun together! Sometimes he hurts me with his claws, but it’s okay because I know it was an accident. He loves me just like I love him — he doesn’t always know how to show it!

When I first came here, he didn’t like me very much, but I knew we were going to be best friends right away! I thought he was so grown-up and smart and wonderful that I followed him around all day watching everything he did so I could learn to be big and smart just like he is! My big brother is fun to have around — not only do we get to play chase and hide-and-seek, we also do other fun things together, like nap, sit around in the sunlight, and hang out on the couch. I like to show him my toys, although he doesn’t seem to find them as interesting as I do, but that’s okay! He lets me play with his toys sometimes and I have so much fun! Recently he has also been letting me sleep in bed with him, and we get to all snuggle together in a big warm bunch and it feels safe and cozy like a den!

Although we have fun together, sometimes I get sad because Julius doesn’t want to play with me. I wish he would go on walks with me, but he likes to stay by himself at home. He often ignores me and disappears high above in places I can’t reach. Sometimes he can even be a little mean, but I still love my big brother Julius very much. He is the best big brother in the whole wide world, and I’m glad he’s mine!

No description available.

Kittenhood—the Early Days


Sir Socks as a kitten drawn by Ali Noel Vyain.

I don’t know much about my kittenhood beyond being cared for in a woodpile in a backyard. My mother took care of me and my three brothers. I don’t remember two of them who went to different homes. Nor do I have any idea of what happened to them after they had left. However, I do remember my brother Spitter. He and I continued to live at this same place for a time. Our mother, when she had decided she was done taking care of us, left to live at the house across the street.
What bothers me the most about my mother was that even though she had taken such good care of us, she had left us without any warning. Spitter, Inky, Paintbrush, and I never had to worry about anything with her around. She had just left us in the woodpile and went to live across the street. I have no idea where Inky and Paintbrush went. I hear they were adopted by some humans and I never saw them again.
All three of us, my mother, Spitter, and me, lived in a small neighborhood in a cul-de-sac. I suppose Spitter and I were happy. I don’t even remember all the people who were coming and going in the house we lived in. All I know was the main human was a blind guy. He remained there with us for our early years.
My brother and I didn’t tend to talk to strangers much. Neither of us were ever outgoing. But nonetheless, we grew up and we stuck together. We had a happy little kittenhood there in the woodpile. I couldn’t have asked for a better beginning in this life.
All of us were black and white cats in various different designs. I just happen to be a tuxedo cat. I had more black than white than my brother Spitter. He was mostly white with some black accents. Even our mother was mostly black with some white. I suppose you could call her a tuxedo cat as well. But she had more white on her than I do.
Why did she just abandon us? It wasn’t fair. She didn’t have to leave us. She could have stayed. I am quite upset about it. Spitter agreed with me. After she had left us, we never liked her anymore. If we saw her, we hissed at her. Spitter was more of a hisser than I ever was. We were both skittish and didn’t trust humans readily.
The blind guy who lived in the house didn’t stop us whenever we came in. Eventually, he looked after us in his own way. He let us come and go when we pleased. He took pictures of us that my girl doesn’t have permission to use. It’s a shame. He took such good pictures of us. But my girl may make drawings based on those pictures she was able to get copies of.
I’m glad I grew up. Being a kitten isn’t a lot of fun when everyone expects you to play with toys and be cute all the time. Sure, I didn’t mind wrestling with my brothers, but I was never that into toys. I’m more of a cat that wants to observe the world around me and wonder what’s wrong with it and the humans we share this planet with. I prefer meditation to playing with toys any day.
What is it like to grow inside the womb before birth? Sometimes I have wondered. But I can’t think back that far. It is still a mystery to me. But that never stopped me from trying. When I meditate, there’s no telling where I go. But I usually learn something when I travel that way. I see things that I can’t see when I’m wide awake.
But even with the meditation, I couldn’t have foreseen where life would take me. Later on, car trips, bus trips, plane trips…it was all too much for a independent cat like me. I just wanted to be free to roam. To come and go as I pleased, but somehow when I had lost some amount of freedom, I had gained some security. Was that a good trade off? I suppose it was. My latter years were wonderful with my girl, Spot, and Isis.
Just to think that I met her and she didn’t seem to try to do anything to me when we first met. She just let me come and go. Never forced me to do anything at all. I couldn’t have asked for a better human to come into my life. I just had to wait a few years into adulthood before she could show up.
Where was she before that time? I have no idea. She never told me. And I never asked.
But I never saw my girl until after she was here. I had no idea when I first met her how much she loved cats in general. I couldn’t have foreseen how much she would love me and other cats. Actually, I thought she was too silly to make a good caretaker and caregiver. And at that time, I didn’t need a new one. Spitter and I were fine with the blind guy.
But it seems that her presence had disrupted our lives in ways that I never understood until much later. It was her fault, but she had no idea of what would happen when she put certain things into motion. At least she takes good care of me. Otherwise I don’t think I could have forgiven her now that I know.
By the time she had told me it was her fault, the damage had already been done. But by then I had learned what a good hearted and sweet person she is. I had to train her to take care of me, but that wasn’t as bad as it could have been. She at least listened to me. She isn’t stupid either. At times absent minded and too focused on her work. But not to the point that she wouldn’t listen to me when I need something.
She sometimes works with me sleeping on her lap. Those are the days. I’m glad we met. Without her, I don’t know what would have happened to me. She was a whirlwind that had changed my life so radically from what it was, but in a good way. I just had no idea until after the whirlwind had scooped me up and we were in a different place. It was my first move and I wasn’t sure what was going on.
Afterwards, it was one adventure after another. Not the kind she writes about. I’ve never lived with my head in the clouds as she does. No, this was real life and it was full of mundane cat experiences. It’s my life and I don’t regret living it.

Cats & Moving


drawing by Ali Noel Vyain

I hear there’s an old wives’ tale about buttering a cat’s paws when they are taken to a new home. Of course the cat will lick the butter off of their paws because we like to be so clean. I don’t know if butter works, but I do know my girl has tended to give me a can of tuna whenever we had to move to a new home.

Well, I usually didn’t get the tuna right away. As soon as I’m in a strange, new place, I go and find a place to hide. It’s just safer for me that way. She usually wasn’t done moving things around. Even a closet was a safe place to hide while she organized everything.

Once we moved with Spot. My girl put both of us in a closet together and closed the door. I could hear her moving things around and unpacking. I was quite content to stay in the closet. Spot tried to get out. He wanted to explore. I don’t know why he wanted to. Moving is scary and traumatic.

But a can of tuna after I’ve calmed down does help me to get over it. That and knowing we’re all still together.

Kitty in Other Languages


graphic from Ali Noel Vyain

When Nuri and I were in Italy, people tended to call her gattina. She liked to get out of our apartment and roll around on the floor. She’d make her happy sound as she greeted new humans who were smiling at her. Gattina is kitty in Italian.

Here is kitty in other languages (source):
Albanian: kotele
Basque: kitty
Belarusian: кацяня
Bosnian: mače
Bulgarian: писенце
Catalan: gatet
Croatian: mače
Czech: koťátko
Danish: kitty
Dutch: pot
Estonian: kiisu
Finnish: kisu
French: minou
Galician: gatinho
German: Miezekatze
Greek: γατούλα(gatoúla)
Hungarian: cica
Icelandic: Kitty
Irish: Kitty
Italian: gattino/gattina
Latvian: kaķēns
Lithuanian: katytė
Macedonian: писе
Maltese: kitty
Norwegian: pus
Polish: koteczek
Portuguese: gatinha
Romanian: Kitty
Russian: Китти(Kitti)
Serbian: маче(mache)
Slovak: mačiatko
Slovenian: kitty
Spanish: bote
Swedish: pott
Ukrainian: кошеня(koshenya)
Welsh: Kitty
Yiddish: קיטי

Cat Quotes 1:01


Curiosity got the cat.

How many times did I see Spot go exploring? Once he found a window screen leaning up against a wall. He just had to check it out. Bam! It fell on top of him and he ran. I never saw Sir Socks do a thing like that…

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. —Robert A. Heinlein

After all the years I have lived with cats, I can say this is very true. Cats don’t care. They will do as they please. I have tried to tell Spot he should eat what he kills, but he never did it. As for women, I can say I am one and I will do as please. That’s why I write so much even though others tell me I should do something else instead of this hobby. I know they want me to have what they think is a real job without realizing how much work I actually do. They are not aware of how well my work is documented online for the world to see and how much it actually counts as real work.

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started