How Long Can Cats Live?

I find it interesting that human scientists like to study cats. Sometimes I wonder how they could ever understand us, but they do at times. They do their best to back up their research on us as they do with any other kind of research. Some cats do their best to explain and use the scientific methods to get a better understanding of ourselves as well.

So, how long can cats live? Well, it varies. One factor is if the cat lives solely outside or solely inside. I used to be an indoor and outdoor cat until after I lived with my girl. Eventually, I could feel old age set in and knew how good I had it with her. So, I stayed in.

The average lifespan is about 10-15 years. Some cats can live to 20 years and beyond. I wouldn’t know for sure. I just know that I lived a long time and gave much joy and love to my girl who took great care of me until I got too sick and was ready to cross the rainbow bridge.

Sometimes it doesn’t work out that well for some cats. I don’t know why, and Isis doesn’t either, she didn’t live a long time. She was much too young. It wasn’t fair. So, I look out for her these days as best I can.

For those of you who want to live with cats, please keep in mind how long we can live and take good care of us. Give us good food and spend time with us. Be sure to keep us safe. A catico is a safe way for us to go outside without having to worry about any unsavory characters who might harm us. It doesn’t matter if they are human or other animals. That way we have better chances of staying healthy and won’t get lonely or depressed. All of which can increase our chances of living a long life.

May 1, 2021 0

Epistles from the Emperor: Vol IV

Well, dearest subjects, I have good news. I may have sounded tired and downtrodden in my last letter to you all, and it may have stirred fear and concern among you. My empire enjoyed peace and stability during my unchallenged reign, and the prospect of a power struggle was certainly upsetting. Great empires do fall, but fear not, for the will of God-Emperor Julius, yours truly, has prevailed over that of Dog.

It was not easy. I fought tooth and nail–literally and figuratively. I waged back-to-back battles. I fought for every last inch of my territory. Every carpet, every kitchen tile, every countertop and crevice. There were many confrontations. The Battle of the Bed. Of the Couch. Of Beneath the Couch. And I have won, as I always expected I would. I knew it would be hard, but I knew I would come out glorious as I always do.

You see, my subjects, I was never truly afraid. I knew that I would win. It was only a matter of time. Dog might be big, but Dog is cowardly, and he is now beneath my proud paw. He now gives me the abundant respect I deserve, and he pays me daily tributes in the form of his kibble and his toys. I have no use for them, really. What am I going to do with a slobber-covered ball or bone? But I take them anyway, because I am emperor, and everything in this house is mine, and that includes everything that the canine fool thinks is his. He has learned to respond to my demands and bow to my threats. All it takes is one hiss, and what’s his is mine. Dog knows better than to try to remove it from the Emperor’s iron grip.

My servants have also been reminded of the proper hierarchy in this house. They have built for me a new throne, one that is truly palatial and godly. I could almost touch the heavens if I wanted to, and I stand tall above everyone else. I now at last have a throne that is a fit for a cat of my magnitude. My empire has weathered some rough times, my subjects, but things are looking brighter for us here. At the very least, everyone is beneath me again, and I am happier for it.

April 1, 2021 0

Cat Quotes 3:04

There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. —Wesley Bates

Cats are indeed quite beautiful. I’d prefer a live one to any piece of sculpture, which cats could easily break when they play with it. I don’t have any knickknacks anymore because Spot used to knocked them off the floor.

Cats’ hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other. —Stephen Baker

It can seem as if cats just let human voices go through without paying that much attention to what we say. Too many humans say a lot without meaning much of anything at all. That’s probably why cats tune us out.

April 1, 2021 0

Princess Lily’s Review of Ali’s Work

I know from experience how diligent my girl is about cleaning out the litter box. It was rare for me to have to remind her to do it. She just did it all on her own. It never mattered how many needed to be cleaned out. She would just clean them all out everyday.

So, when I girl was busy cleaning out a litter box that belongs to Princess Lily, a fluffy and hard to please cat, my girl was reviewed. My girl has told me her previous human employers never gave her good reviews. Or at least nothing that was useful. However, Princess Lily reviewed my girl and was quite pleased with how clean the litter box would be after my girl cleaned it everyday.

Way to go, my girl. I knew you would be an excellent devoted servant. Thanks for doing such a good job. Keep up the good work with any cat you find yourself caring for.

April 1, 2021 0

Color Blindness

I am a cat and some humans think I’m color blind. They truly believe cats can’t see any colors. Some realize we can see some colors, but not as well as many humans do. I know there were times my girl would give me tiny pieces of white cheddar cheese as a treat. She would set the pieces on the tile floor which was alternating black and white tiles. I could see the cheese on the black tiles without any trouble. But I couldn’t see them on the white tiles. She used to feed me the cheese with her bare hands until I accidentally bit one of her fingers. Not hard enough to hurt her, but enough that it startled her. It was because I couldn’t see clearly where the cheese was on her hands very well.

So, we’re not exactly color blind. I know I’m a black and white tuxedo cat with white paws. But that doesn’t mean I’ll see other colors very well as my girl learned when she was feeding me little pieces of white cheddar cheese.

April 1, 2021 0

Litter Box/Tray

It doesn’t matter to a cat whether you call their toilet a litter box or a litter tray. A litter box or tray can be a simple as a rectangular low plastic box filled with litter. Some are enclosed so the cat can have privacy. I’ve even seen one that was huge and had stairs so the cat could go down into the litter and walk back up to get out of it. There are some which self clean after the cat is done.

There are many options and it makes me wonder what cats think about those options. I’ve never had one request a fancy self cleaning one because they usually like the job I do when cleaning out their boxes everyday.

April 1, 2021 0

The Diary of Sir Socks Le Chat

My girl (Ali Noel Vyain) recently found my diary. We have decided to release it into the world. It will be available as an ebook, but not until after it’s first serialized via Patreon. My diary features my thoughts, feelings, opinions and why I wrote my memoirs.

Just a little sample:
Entry 1
I’m just a kitten. My name is Socks. I have a mom Ramadon and three brothers: Paintbrush, Inky and Spitter. We play everyday. Life is nice here.

Just one thing puzzles me. I know I don’t know much. I keep asking my mom questions and she answers what she can. So, I keep seeing these beings of light. They are sparkly and have wings. They fly around me and sprinkle dust on me. They laugh and dance.

Who are they? What do they want with me?

If you would like to support our mission, please consider doing any or even all of the following:
*Spread the word about this magazine to others.
*Order any of the Cat Tales books from your local library.
*Buy copies of any of the Cat Tales books from the store of your choice.
*Subscribe to Sir Socks’s girl Ali’s Patreon account. Currently features The Diary of Sir Socks Le Chat before it’s available in ebook format. Cost is $5 per month for a basic account and $9 per month for voting and requests. (She is the one who does the most work to keep this magazine running as Sir Socks would like it to. If you support her, you are supporting Sir Socks and his mission as well.)

April 1, 2021 0

Epistles from the Emperor: Vol III

Dearest subjects,

It feels like it has been half a year since I last dictated a letter to you. The past four weeks have waxed extra long here in my winter quarters. Long days turn slowly into even longer nights, and I have been exhausted keeping extra watch throughout the hours. You see, life in my realm has been forever changed. In my last letter, I spoke of something suspicious happening underfoot. There was excited whispering within my servants’ quarters, hushed voices speaking of something known as Dog. I had hoped it was just a rumor or some ill-fated song in the wind. Alas, it was not. The rumor has given birth to a baleful reality. I could call it treason, but it is far worse than that. My entire empire has been faced with the worst threat of its existence.

Dog has come. And Dog has stayed.

In those first sleepless nights, I had fits of rage, rolling anger, black ire. My servants have betrayed me beyond belief. I have not yet decided on a punishment for them. They have tried to placate me with food and treats, but nothing, not even the most scrumptious delicacies, will soothe my seething heart.

As for Dog…Dog pretends he does not know what he is doing, hiding behind the mask of a lovable idiot, but I know the truth about him. He has eyes on my toys, my servants’ laps, my servants’ attention. Worst of all, he has eyes on my bed. If there is one thing I will not tolerate, it is a dog in my bed. Emperor Julius will rule over this bed with an iron paw. My bed is sacrosanct, and no stinky dog will ever enter it.

I am tired, dearest subjects, from defending my empire. The winter will be a long and hard one yet, but as the days get brighter, Dog spends more time away. He will soon be lording over his own land beyond mine, something called a backyard and a front yard, and perhaps then I will not have to keep such a careful watch. Until that day comes, though, I must keep my iron paws at the ready and my head held high. I am proud, and I am emperor. No dog will ever change that.

March 1, 2021 4

Cats Like to Socialize

As a cat I can tell you we do like to socialize. It’s a myth to believe we are so independent that we won’t interact with you. Speaking for myself, I am shy so I don’t like to be around strangers. I got so used to my girl that I don’t mind talking to her or cuddling with her. Just like others, I need to socialize. It helps when I’m comfortable with others. But it takes me time to get to know people. It doesn’t matter if they are cats or humans. I need to take it slow.

I’m so glad my girl understands this about me. That’s why when she decided to have a little birthday party for herself, she gave me a place where I could hide and no one bothered me. Isis, on the other paw, is very outgoing and she greeted and interacted with everyone who stopped by. That’s just how she is. It’s better that she did so and enjoyed it. I could never play host.

We cats do like to socialize, but it depends on how shy or outgoing we are as to how much we want to socialize and with whom we will socialize. Please remember that if you decide to live with us.

March 1, 2021 0

Nuri Interview

I came across Nuri who is currently living with my girl. She readily agreed to an interview.

Sir Socks (SS): How long have you lived with my girl?

Nuri: For a few years. We’ve bounced around quite a few times. I hope we don’t have to travel again, but she seems to think we will.

SS: I lived in a few different places with her. I don’t know what the problem is. Whatever it is, it’s bad. I think she has asked for help and can’t get what she needs.

Nuri: I know she has anxiety that gets too high at times. I do what I can to comfort her. She says I help her out. I don’t know what the real problem is either. I do believe she’s the best human for me, but other humans don’t like her for reasons I can’t understand.

SS: Hmm. I suppose the dislike of other humans is a factor. I agree with you that she’s a great human to be with even though she’s too silly for me.

Nuri: She’s not too silly for me. I have to deal with other cats and they don’t always want to play with me. But she will. She even offers or plays with me when I approach her.

SS: That’s good. I know she used to play with Spot too. He truly believes she’s his mama and a cat.

Nuri: (laughs) She told me she bottle fed a kitten. That must have been who she meant. She did tell me she’s lived with other cats. I never cared about the other cats. I see no reason to be jealous of those who came before me. Or even of those she meets now and pets them. I’m just glad she knows what I need.

SS: I trained her well.

Nuri: I’m so glad you did. Most of the time I’m afraid to complain when things aren’t quite right for me. Yet, she has told me sometimes I do need to complain. I did once and she never got mad at me. She understood what I was complaining about.

SS: She was always good about understanding and taking care of the problem. (pause) Is it true your story is a rags to riches?

Nuri: Yes. I was born and raised on the street. I know how dangerous cars and raccoons can be. I also had to fight other cats just to survive. I was scared when humans grabbed me and put me in a shelter. Then I met Ali. My world hasn’t been the same since. It took me time to get used to her and her ways, but I’m glad we met.

SS: She turned my world upside down in a good way. I’m glad she’s a part of my life too.

Nuri: I’m glad she came when she did. I feel much safer inside or even on an enclosed patio. I feel very safe when she’s around. I know she will protect me.

I can’t say I’ve gotten along well with female cats as I did with Nuri during this interview. I know Nuri hasn’t always like male cats either. I’m sure it was because she grew up on the street. She seems to tolerate them better now that she can’t get pregnant.

March 1, 2021 0