a magazine of cat tales | ISSN: 2769-058X
Another month is over and not much has changed. If nothing changes between now and October, then the last Financial Report I will do will be for September. Until then, this is how we’re doing.
Summary for April 2019:
no money in or out
over 1150 hits on the blog
about 659 people get the posts emailed to them
29 people follow via WordPress
65 copies sold; US$467.00 raised for Dingo Venezia from Cat Tales of the Frisky9 Scarf Army
We all know that cats need a variety of nice beds to sleep in. We cats are certainly connoisseurs of comfort and luxury, and this discerning taste only becomes more refined with age and experience. I have slept in/on a great number of different beds in my time, and I’m going to share my wisdom with you all today and rank my favorite sleeping spots.
#5: The Tried and True Cat Bed
I have two cat beds, which my human has smartly placed on the floor beside a large window. They are good, sturdy, practical things. They’re soft enough for a quick nap and they keep my butt warm and add extra comfort when I’m watching birds, but they’re nothing remarkable. True luxury exists elsewhere.
#4: The Couch
I like the couch more than my cat beds because it’s off the floor and much softer. I can stretch out and lounge on blankets and cushions. It also gives me a good view of my domain.
#3: My Human’s Bed
This was the best sleeping spot I knew for years. Warm, cushioned, and plush, the bed is certainly an unparalleled kind of luxury. I can sleep here for hours in all sorts of positions: stretched out, on my back, cat loaf, and more. I can rest my head on pillows and snuggle with my human. The bed is a solid, staple favorite of mine.
#2: My Cat Tree
Oh, how my life changed forever once I got my tree! I love my cat tree! It combines so many of my favorite things together — I can be up high, reclining in plush luxury, and I can watch birds comfortably from my window. I spend many hours of my day in my cat tree. It offers great versatility, allowing me to carry out my favorite activities in warmth and comfort.
#1: My Basket
Don’t get my wrong — I love my tree, I love my human’s bed, but this one takes the cake above everything. I never knew how wonderful baskets were until recently. I discovered this by accident and a true stroke of luck. There is something so beautifully, enticingly rustic and wild about being in a basket. It makes you feel like a true tiger, surrounded by nature, sleeping in the rough. It fits me snugly and perfectly, and I sleep just like a kitten. I would recommend a well-fitted basket to every cat who can get one!
Disclaimer: the staff writers here are not vets nor are they qualified to give medical advice. This article’s purpose is strictly to share stories/information and should not be used for diagnostic purposes. Please take your cat to the vet if you suspect anything might be wrong with them. Your vet will know best what to do in your specific situation.
Cats can certainly adhere to odd schedules, at least by human terms. Cats often sleep blissfully through entire days only to burst with lively energy and enthusiasm at particular hours of the night. Most “normal” cats do sleep quite a lot — sometimes upwards of 15 hours or more — but this sleep is generally light or dozing sleep, from which they can awaken quickly if need be, and most “normal” cats awaken for activity during dawn or twilight hours. That being said, however, cats can and do suffer from a variety sleep disorders, especially as they age.
Narcolepsy is one kind of sleep disorder cats can suffer from. A cat with narcolepsy will suddenly collapse and seem to have fallen into a deep sleep, and the cat will also exhibit signs of REM sleep as if it is dreaming. The exact causes of narcolepsy are unknown. The disorder in and of itself is not dangerous, but could present dangers if the cat were to fall into water or from a high height because of a sudden sleep attack.
Sleep apnea is another sleep disorder cats can have, especially if they are overweight or if they are Persian. Symptoms to look out for include loud snoring, gasping/choking while asleep, and spasms of the diaphragm. Treatment might involve weight loss if the cat is overweight or corrective surgery in more extreme cases.
Cats can also suffer from insomnia, especially elderly cats. Some elderly cats will develop erratic sleeping schedules and will have difficulty sleeping. Some cats will be extremely restless and vocalize frequently throughout the night as well. In many of these cases, insomnia and disrupted sleeping patterns can be the result of age-related cognitive decline or sometimes hyperthyroidism.
So what’s a pet parent to do? If your kitty doesn’t seem to be distressed or in pain and their sleep schedule stays relatively the same, perhaps they just enjoy roaming during nighttime hours. You might want to invest in earplugs.
*Sigh.* When I first met fairies, those tiny glowing humanoids with wings, I was just a kitten. I had no idea who or what they were. They played with me. They teased me. They told me I was going to be a witch’s familiar.
I had no idea what was going on at the time. I didn’t understand until much later. After I had met the witch herself. Needless to say, it took me time to get used to the fairies and the witch.
Now I think nothing of such things. Neither the fairies nor the witch have ever harmed me. They have all annoyed me at one time or another. I’m used to them and their playful ways.
*Sigh.* If they are gone from me for too long, I miss them too much.
This month’s cat vocabulary is an Italian word, gattamorta, which literally means dead cat. It is used for a manipulative person. For me who adores cats, I find this somewhat disturbing. Yes, there are people like me who will do anything for a cat and the cats know it.
But does that mean they are naturally manipulative people? I don’t think so. Many cats are quiet and trust us to take care of them. Some are more vocal and quite specific about how they want to be taken care of.
I’ve lived with cats for quite a long time and I’d rather be around them than a real manipulative person any day.
Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you’re hungry, eat. When you’re tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet’s, pee on your owner. — Gary Smith
We certainly can learn a lot from cats. They are right to sleep when they are tired and to eat when they are hungry. And when we are upset, there is nothing wrong with letting others know they have gone too far. So, feel free to do as the cats do and feel better about yourself.
The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn’t just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I’m mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names… — T.S. Eliot
Cats are special. Ergo they deserve more than one name. A name they can be called anytime. One that is a special endearing name. And one that will tell anyone something very important about the cat.
My brother Spitter was a great companion. We didn’t always get along, but can you show me a pair of brothers who always get along well? No, of course not. He was great to hang out with. We used to lie around and watch the humans who came in and out of the house. We could cuddle up to one another. We could complain to each other about whatever was wrong with our lives. We could also complain about our mother and why she had abandoned us. We could even meditate together.
I wasn’t lonely with my brother around. Never mind how whiny we were at times. We loved each other. We wrestled together. We had our little disagreements, but we always made up afterwards. I still miss him sometimes. My girl understands this. She once told me if Spitter was still alive that she would have taken him in too. For once a non-cat understood how upset I was about his disappearance. Or rather his death.
I don’t know why he died. But he was much too young. Rumor has it he was poisoned. It has never been confirmed with actual proof. But he was my brother and my best friend. I could never replace him. I am still tempted to hunt down the responsible party for my brother’s disappearance. But I would have no idea where to even look. It’s been much too long now. The evidence has been destroyed. That’s all I can be sure of now.
I have meditated on Spitter’s disappearance/death. I have come to the conclusion that when we cats die, we tend to disappear from the people we have known. I didn’t find him after he was gone. I know the blind guy would have at least found his body. That’s all we can leave behind when we leave. It is a leaving as far as I’m able to understand.
I’m not sure our essence of who we are really disappears. I think that’s the part that lives on and we travel to somewhere else. It seems that death is the release of our essence from our physical body. Physical bodies do wear out as I can tell you. Mine has worn out. That’s part of the reason I’m writing my memoirs now. It’s easier without all the restrictions I once had.
My girl and I never talked about death per se. She did tend to meditate at times. So, I couldn’t tell you what she thinks of death. But I can tell you she is somewhat sensitive to those who no longer have physical bodies. She can sense them, but that’s about it. She doesn’t try to talk to them. I know now that she’s had to deal with death at an early age. Dead bodies creep her out. Sometimes she dreams of the dead she once knew when they had physical bodies.
She doesn’t tend to talk too much about those dreams. Well, I think she does talk about the ones she has about her son. Those are pleasant for her. They are aware of their physical separation, yet he can contact her every so often via a dream to let her know she’s not really alone. Her aloneness is just a physical illusion. That’s something we all need to remember.
*Sigh.* There was no one else in my life quite like Spitter. We had so much in common that I wonder how I ever ended up with such a silly girl. I wasn’t silly with her. She likes to play too much. She has encouraged me to play. But she never gave me a hard time for not playing with toys. She just accepted me as I truly am. For the curmudgeon that I am.
Spitter understood about being a curmudgeon. He was just as whiny as I was about lots of things. He used to get lonely as I did. He was the one who had asked my girl to pet him. I wasn’t that brave to ask someone I didn’t know. I didn’t ask her until after we had lived together. I didn’t always have to ask her. She likes to pet me.
She at least understood why I missed my brother as much as I did. She assured me that if he had lived, that he would have been with us. That was enough for me. I couldn’t ask for more in a caretaker and caregiver. Even one who is a whirlwind…
Another month is over and not much has changed. If nothing changes between now and October, then the last Financial Report I will do will be for September. Until then, this is how we’re doing.
Summary for March 2019:
no money in or out
over 1108 hits on the blog
about 656 people get the posts emailed to them
27 people follow via WordPress
65 copies sold; US$467.00 raised for Dingo Venezia from Cat Tales of the Frisky9 Scarf Army
Currently available at Smashwords: The Life Adventures of Sir Socks Le Chat
Finally. After all the dictation and translation and editing…cover design and the book layout into ebook format, my girl and I have finished my book of memoirs. She put it up for sale on Smashwords earlier this week. They have approved it to be distributed to other retailers. In a matter of days, perhaps as long as a week, my book will be available just about anywhere ebooks are sold.
I’m now a very happy cat. I can relax. I’ve written my thoughts on my life. Perhaps I can earn a bit of money for myself and my girl. She is wonderful if a bit too silly at times. She does know me better than any other non-cat person ever has. I’m glad she is a big part of my life. She deserves recognition for what she has done for me over my life. She may not agree with me. I know she is glad I am a part of her life too.
Of course my memoirs will continue to be serialized here online. But if you can’t wait every month for another installment, then feel free to download a copy of my finished book for US$2.99. Happy reading while I take a well deserved long nap.
Greetings, dearest followers. It has been a long month of journeying and adventure for your imperial leader. Some big changes have occurred in the humans’ world, the specifics of which I do not yet fully know or understand. I do not usually concern myself too much with their goings-on, but this time their business crossed over into my world. I found myself in transit, on a trip into the unknown. I did complain, but alas, it seems this journey out of my territory was a necessity.
I am penning you this letter now from a new land and entirely new quarters. My trusty forever human is with me, as are now two other humans who smell and sound like her. I have heard them referred to as my “grandparents”, but I do not think of them this way. They have become part of my royal court, and they are my two new favorites. I love my forever human, no doubt, but these two new subjects understand the importance of generosity, and they lovingly indulge my whims for snacks and fresh flowing water. They certainly treat me as an emperor should be treated, and I hope my forever human learns some things from them!
My forever human assures me this change is temporary. She says we will soon return to my territory, where I have my own tree and my own garden full of birds. Until then, I have to be content with the view of someone else’s garden. It’s not too bad here. I have a penthouse suite all to myself — at least, most of the time.
There is a darker side to all of this. There is intrigue afoot, my dear subjects, another cat in this house, and she has reigned over this territory far long than I have reigned over mine.
She is the omnipotent queen of these parts, and she is not to be trifled with. I had the misfortune of meeting her once, and never again. She was like a hellhound out of a nightmare, ready and seasoned for battle. She has the battle scars to prove it, too, and she nearly gave me one of my own. My forever human, my bodyguard, sacrificed herself to stop this attempt on my life. It looks like we will not be forging a feline alliance after all.
Since our encounter, the queen has remained by herself, downstairs, and she has not come near me again. I have staked out my own little corner of her world, and I will remain here until it is time to return to my empire. My forever human is keeping a careful watch at the door. I never doubted her fealty, but now I know for sure she is on my side, now and forever.
Sir Socks Le Chat 