Cat Backchat

Kittens grow out of meowing

once they finish suckling.

No need to talk to each other

Just to make mom aware

of the need to open the bar

and keep the milk on tap

The runt of the litter

he’s the best speaker

Silence is death

Meowing, a life-line.

Once you’re on solids

you can cat-chat and back-chat

in a uniquely feline way

Use your tail, master the signals-

Straight up equals happy

Twitching means anxious or angry

Body language is vital

Rubbing, usually friendly,

transfers the scent

The catty equivalent of

Chanel Nos.5 or Prada

Cats only meow

 to control their human masters,

who are dull enough

to need constant reminders:

‘Food!’  ‘Door’!   ‘Warmth’!

‘Bed’!   Attention’!

To fellow felines 

they trill and chatter

like whiskery old gossips

Yowling and howling

is melodramatic

suggesting desperation-

Succour, Pain, Mate

It disturbs the owner

who can’t interpret

this ancient cry

from the jungle

Man has had catty relationships

Since the time of the Pharaohs

Cats have been deified sanctified

mummified vilified,

black-listed demonised,

but we still haven’t mastered

basic cat-chat!